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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

What happens if you get scared to death, twice?

A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.

Every time I open my mouth some idiot starts talking.

If God wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees.

I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just by standing up fast.

24 hours in a day. 24 cans in a case. Coincidence?

The inaugural meeting of the lethargic society has been cancelled.Huh
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.Huh
If you want the rainbow you've got to put up with the rain!Wink
With sufficient thrust pigs fly just fine.Big Grin
Why does someone believe you when you say there are 1,000 billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?Undecided
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
If at first you don't succeed sky diving's not for you.
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only onceTongue
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A woman drove me to drink and I never had the decency to thank her. W.C.Fields.
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